The Fragility of Life

To have the possibility of death so close, it hits you, all the wasted time. Memories of treasured moments come pouring in.

And in the silence of the night, you hear clearly the tick-tocking of time as it continues on, oblivious to emotions. Time sees not the necessity to stop.

The fragility of life is like a mirror falling; it shatters, tiny fragments on the ground. You stare helplessly, struck with the realisation of the inability to pick up the pieces once it's gone. 

Lip Service in Ramadhan?

The east wing of the apartments I live in have been facing intermittent ELCB tripping pretty frequently in the last two to three months. We have been at the mercy of a number of electricians, presumably experts in their field, coming up with differing reasons as to why the black-outs have been occurring.

There we were faced with another bout of 'lights out', ten minutes before the breaking of fast. Unperturbed, we went to the nearby masjid to break our fast and to perform our Maghrib prayers. We arrived home half an hour later to find the house in total darkness.

We ate our food (a little cold it was, I might add, as we could not warm up the food I had deftly cooked two hours ago) in the light of a couple of candles, feeling a tad warm with not a breeze mustered by the winds of the night.

I was eating with not a complaint about the 'dark' situation, when it hit me. The emotional tinge that went through me as it dawned on me the many families who eat their iftar meals in the dark daily; possibly meals more simple than what I had cooked (yes, admittedly I am not a whizz of a cook). It left me with tears in my eyes and with a miserable, sinking feeling of the many failures for not having thanked Allah for what we have, for not showing our appreciation for all that he has given us - a term worded as "shukur" in Arabic. And I actually lost my appetite for a brief moment (no, it wasn't due to the food on my plate...)

Just to clear the air, I am not one to mope and gripe about my life and the many events that I have gone through (memorable as they are though you wish some of them not to be); it's the failure to be even more thankful and grateful for what we have.

Come Ramadhan we talk convincingly about how this blessed month teaches us empathy, reminds us of the sufferings of the less fortunate, and to instill discipline into our daily lives. But really, looking at the sufferings of the world, are we just paying lip service?

Bon Anniversaire

Today brings recollections of a person who came in to my life many years ago as an acquaintance. Who, for the past four years, has had a profound effect on me; in finding myself once again and regaining the happiness within. You brought joy.

More importantly, you played a significant role in my understanding what loving another really means. Never before did I think I was capable of loving someone in such a manner, or experiencing such a beautiful emotion. You made it happen. I thank you, once again, from the bottom of my heart.

Perhaps in doubt of the effect you have made in my life, nevertheless you are in my thoughts often.

May Allah bless you and keep you in His Guiding Light always.

Happy Birthday, a winner in my eyes. 

Starting Off On The Wrong Foot

Would it not serve us better to delve on the positive rather than the negative, before we endeavour?

A Tender Yearning

Spreading its wings, it flies. Soaring to heights, its enthusiasm strengthened by the orange glow of the sun. Suddenly it swoops down to the ground below as if with wings clipped, unable to roam far.

It searches. It seeks for the kind soul who helped it heal.

Sadly, it seems kindness has chosen to depart. Kindness, hiding its emotions behind desires and fears.

Left out in the cold. The silence, difficult to bear. Forced to deny, it takes to the skies. Every so often compelled to come home, with a hope and a longing to be found.

Step Back, Then Move Forward

Distressed is how I would describe a friend who had just been informed of the death of an acquaintance in rather unpleasant circumstances.

"Not so good things happen to all of us at some time in our lives. Don't take it personally. We just have to put it behind us and move on. That's why we speak of things that have happened as, 'In the past'..."

"Yes... I need these reminders. I'm angry at myself for being so easily mentally affected," she responds.

"Don't get angry with yourself. We all go through ups and downs. I believe to avoid negative emotions we have to work hard at looking at the bright side of things and more importantly, having faith in God's plans for us. My oft inspirational quote - "Allah is the best of planners"; and if we question ourselves or question Him as to why we are in tough situations, we are actually doubting His knowledge. Allah puts us in situations that He knows we CAN handle. It is for our betterment when he does so in order for us to be better individuals. To give up means to not believe in His Greatness and Wisdom."

If you're in an abusive relationship, get out

"Salaam sister" was the incoming message, followed with a query,"Is beating the disobedient wife in Islam allowed?

"Wa'alaikumussalam," I respond. "To physically hurt a person? No, not allowed. Did it happen to you?"

"Not allowed? Physically beating the wife is not allowed?" came the next query.

"NOT allowed," was my firm response.
 I shared with the enquirer this link - Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case! - http://www.islamawareness.net/Wife/beating1

"If you're in an abusive relationship,  get out.  No matter what."

A Whole New You

It is hard to come up with soothing words for a friend who is going through much pain and anguish. Are words such as, “I have been there before; I know how it feels; Be Patient; Everything will work out fine, you'll see”, any comfort to the heart of the listener; a listener searching for solace, for any remedy to ease her despair.

Facing the loss of a special needs son I gather is a great tragedy to most people. My opinion comes from responses of well-meaning friends and acquaintances when I share a brief moment of my past. It was a trying time indeed, but it was never difficult nor burdensome. The minute we ask “Why me?” we have placed ourselves down the road of negativity. Ask instead, “What have I to learn from this situation placed in front of me that will most surely improve my standing as an individual”.

Believing in this questioning of yourself brings about a whole new view of your predicament. Looking at it in an affirmative, positive light leads to a turn around on your emotional handling of the circumstances faced with. It instills in the individual the perseverance to trudge ahead through thorny bushes, armed with confidence that the scabs and bruises will heal.  Scars may remain but as painless reminders, leaving us with determination that no matter our future struggles, we can and will always pull through.